Dawn workout contemplations

I was up very early, 3 something.  Couldn't sleep so I got outta bed about 4 and started my morning routine.   On the D. Hayes track at about 4:40, just as the first hints of dawn were appearing.   It was about 74º with a welcome south breeze.  It is going to be a hot one.

I've pretty much resigned myself to being generally past my peak season speed and I'm really just doing maintenance to keep what fitness I have.  I did the same workout as last time but faster.

400m warmup, stretches, drills 

Saucony spikes on 

500m - 81.5 

400m - 60.5 

300m - 44

I normally don't stray too far from track on this blog but today, I feel the need to be more contemplative.  Such a long training season has become psychologically draining.  As I finish out the season it's become more of a responsibility to finish what I started than a passion to execute and improve.  After the Nationals, I'll probably miss it.  It does keep my life balanced in a way, but I think the length of the season has tipped that balance to the negative side in some ways.

On my birthday 10 days ago, I did a hard early workout and didn't get back to sleep, and felt like a zombie most of the day.   I think it affected my personality as I was a bit tired and quiet through the day, not very social, no fun, and somewhat stern.  Now, I'm going through some emotional trauma in my personal life.  I've not been eating or sleeping well and I'm down to 137.8 lbs - lightest in a year.  My body fat is about 9%.

I sometimes read a fellow masters track athlete's blog, a champion middle distance runner who writes about losing his ex-wife 20+ years ago to mistakes he made and alcoholism.   He seems full of regret and still in love with her after so many years.  Track and training has obviously provided a focus for this guy and helped him deal with life.  But, I don't want to end up like him, even if I rose to the level of perennial champion - living a life of regret and lingering pain.

As I walk and sprint through life, I am thankful and humbled for what I have.  I'm getting through this tough emotional time and trying to remain optimistic.   I'm thankful for my fitness and health, my family, friends, students, and my career.  I am thankful for what I've achieved this season even if I strike out in Lisle.  All new PRs over last season, and in the National Masters M50 400m rankings, my times have been either 1st or second ranked all season.

Now its time for a morning nap.... I hope.