not competing kills

I was ok til about 3 weeks ago.  I was managing to stay about 144 lbs but in the past 2 weeks, I've eaten things I never eat, especially this time of year which, for the past 14 yrs, has been competition season.  

The worst things are fried potatoes (4x), once I ate wheat pasta.   I'm probably hovering around 147-148 lbs.   At least I've refrained from buying any large bags of chips, and I haven't made pastry since last summer.  I have been eating way too much fruit.  

When competing, I eat minimalist and never eat these types of things.  I sustain body fat of between 9-12% for more than half the year.  I live like a pro athlete doing something physical everyday.  I weigh myself 3x a day, fast til after workout, one main meal.   Take all kinds of legal supplements (L-carnitine, L-citulline malate, tribulis, niagen, tongkat ali, NAD, arginine, and others).  They probably don't do much, but just an indication that I try to squeeze every bit of performance out of my body.  

Now, without that motivation, I lapse into a state of decay.  It is shortening my life.  I need to get into Ulta labs and assess my damage.  

I had read a study that says what you eat in your 30s,40s,50s can influence your disease risk by age 70.  Maybe that has worked in my favor. 

I am looking forward to committing to playing concerts again and being a musician.  Something I got enthused with over the holiday but lapsed after my surgery.

Unfortunately, I am not anywhere near being able to aggressively bike.  I'm going to try and do some easy flat biking this weekend for the first time, and some cautious hiking, probably with the brace.  When I'm at work, wed and thurs, I'm walking around and climbing stairs and my knee still hurts afterward.  Last time, I didn't water run for 3 months, so that would be another month.  Last time I was doing some easier bike climbs by 9 weeks.  Monday will be 9 weeks.  

I need to accept that this will heal SLOWER than last time due to my age and a more complex repair.  I need to accept that I may not be doing the things I want to for longer.  

Trying to decide if I want to commit to a hiking in Europe this summer mid Aug.  Should be good to go by then.  A sign of the times however, Roya is afraid to leave the US because she was born in Iran, and even though she's been a citizen for 40 yrs, she fears the now oppressive authoritarian regime in the US may not let her back in.  Sad.